Interview with Stalin

Recently, I met Josef Stalin,
And I asked him,
How is your wife
He said, “Thank you, she’s well.”

Then I said, dear Stalin,
How about an interview?
And he replied, because it’s you,
I’ll give it.

How is it going with the offensive?
Sir, it’s not just going, it’s running,
Broadly and deeply,
That Herr Hitler is seized with terror

All villages, all cities
We’re taking in a steady run,
Place after place falls in competition,
And that won’t stop soon.

And the new armored cars?
They’re great, it seems to me,
And I have nothing to complain about,
Except that sometimes one might think,

That the brakes aren’t of much use,
Because you can’t stop them,
And the world watches in amazement,
Having never seen anything like it.

And how about the Finns?
Won’t they lose steam soon?
Man, the Finns have lost their minds,
And are almost idiots,

Could have had peace for a long time,
But they believe Hitler’s lies,
And they fight on, and hand over
All power to Mannerheim.

I can’t tolerate that,
But now it’s too late,
Finland shouldn’t complain either,
If things soon go badly for him.

What’s your valuable opinion
Regarding the invasion?
Still appearing somewhat tentative,
But gradually progressing.

Was the German rate of advance
Not faster than yours is now?
That’s possible, said Stalin,
But nothing needs be done about it.

Hitler’s pace was too vigorous,
And he exhausted himself,
No, I’d rather remain strong,
Even if it takes a little longer.

Will it take long to end the war,
Or will peace come soon,
Which I would really find splendid,
Violence has lasted long enough.

Stalin, with a mischievous grin,
Then said: I see light,
But more precise deadlines,
Breedenbeek, that I won’t say.