Gutter Romance

Recently in Leiden
Something abnormal happened
It cannot be avoided,
I‘ll make a song of it.

A lady had her rooms
Rented nearby a canal
The top floor,
A romantic area.

For what happened there
Surely outshines, I bet
Even Shakespeare,
With Romeo and Juliet.

The lady wanted to go to bed
When there was a tapping on her window,
She couldn‘t understand it,
So she is not to blame.

She got frightened
And stood momentarily stunned,
Then she ran like a whirlwind
Quickly down the stairs.

And since this house is only
Inhabited by ladies,
One of these ladies
Showed herself quite manly.

Ah, she thought very bravely,
While softly whistling,
Perhaps the help we asked for comes,
an English pilot.

The two went upstairs
And opened the window
Indeed, it is a young lad,
Like a new Icarus.

Did he fall from the sky,
Lightly dressed he is,
Yet without any injury,
As far as one can tell.

The ladies stand gaping,
And he asks very calmly:
May I not sleep with you,
I feel so lonely?

The two ladies ask,
Who are you and wherefrom are you?
Then came the German reply:
Ich kann Sie nicht verstehen. [I can not understand you]

So it turned out, the lad
Was made in Germany,
And this fact suddenly cooled
All of their sympathy.

Even if one has a sense of humor,
This was a bad joke,
So the ladies quickly dialed
For the police.

Yet our police
Are not competent for this,
When a wandering German
Disturbs Dutch sleep.

Some officers came,
And they investigated it,
Yet the delinquent had stopped
His expedition.

Probably he was in a bad mood
Because of the resistance,
And then, as planned,
Quickly evacuated the place.

And you know what pleased me most
About this fact?
For Dutch women
A Kraut has no sex appeal.