The Panic of Aveley

Premature vicar.
On Thursday morning, the pastor of the peaceful village of Aveley in the English county of Essex, as reported by Stockholm Tidningen and Svenska Dagbladet from the British capital, entered the baker’s store where he puts up his church posters with a serious face. This time he carried a placard with the following official text: “The second front has been formed. St. Michael’s Church remains open for prayers. A special religious service will be held at 10 a.m. today. The church will henceforth remain open throughout the day. This evening at 7:30 prayer for the troops participating in the offensive.” This message spread through the village like wildfire. The mothers seized with panic, ran to the school to get their children, in order to protect them from enemy reprisals. Two hours later, the police appeared, removed the placard and called the pastor to account. The venerable gray-haired man shook his head, laughing innocently and said: “This placard was sent to me by the competent authorities without special instructions. Therefore, I thought I should put it up as soon as possible to inform the population.” – 30-5-44

The vicar of Aveley
Informed his flock,
The second front is now formed,
And the invasion force attacks

The Atlantic Wall from today,
God grant it success,
What we all hope for,
The church will remain open from now on

From early morning till late evening,
So be ready with your prayers,
For such things truly help,
And will certainly bring victory.

Our praying makes the troops strong,
So come to church in droves,
To pray and beseech,
And I will preach for you.

The housewives of Aveley
Found this news displeasing,
Fear and dread left them speechless,
Because when the invasion comes

German revenge will surely come,
The German air force will hit the mark,
Dropping bombs on Aveley,
They don’t care at all.

This fear created panic,
In Aveley it became critical,
Children were taken out of school,
While at home the gruel burnt.

They’d rather crawl into the ground,
So afraid they are of the Second Front,
They fear it might not succeed,
And tremble at ambushes.

It was a false alarm in Aveley,
The fleet is still at sea,
The announcement was untrue,
The second front is not ready yet.

And when people read the news,
Many become scared and fearful,
As if facing a very bad omen,
If it really does happen.

Because in the same spirit,
As it was in Aveley,
It will be throughout Great Britain,
The consternation is not small.

People shiver and shake throughout the land,
They are so scared and teeth chatter,
I can already see all the Britons,
Sitting pale with terror.

And yet I became a bit suspicious,
When reading this press concoction,
And I see the panic of Aveley
As an invention of the DNB.